Just because
I don't have a particular reason for posting tonight. But see - that's the beauty of it.
Lately, I have been feeling happy for apprently no reason. I like to think that I still have a long way to go in life...great challenges... that will lead me wonderful places, both outside and inside of myself.
But there are some moments when I just feel everything is right. I can just connect to the moment, the ambient, and feel the wonder that it is to live truly in the present...right here, right now. I thought of myself with Dri and how I felt that way with her...but now I realize, I don't need her to feel this way. I can reach this place inside myself, by myself. And I'm usually alone when it happens.
When I hit those moments, everything seems to shine. A simple walk on a square feels like I have been wandering around heaven. Things are so perfect just the way they are that I feel like time could stop...in truth, I think there's something here.
Of course, feeling this way doesn't mean there is nothing left to accomplish. There may be still things left to do, problems to deal with, things we mourn, things we regret, things we need... But the beauty of it is exactly that - feeling this way despite it all. We are not worrying about the past, or the future. They are not attached to us, and it makes no sense to carry this weight on our backs. No...we are living just at that time, and we are able to put aside everything else. In essence, it is as if we truly let go of time and whatever it means. I think this 'time has stopped' feeling is exactly that - the ability to let go of all our past depressions, our present stresses and future anxities. So it feels like time does not exist, because all there is...is this moment.
It's such a state of bliss I can't really describe, but it's like I had been living in a colorless, mute and lifeless world... and all of a sudden, it's populated with the most wonderful colours, the most perfect bird sounds, the most delightful afternoon breeze.
I actually find it funny to feel this way because there is nothing going on in my life that would lead me to such feelings. I can't correlate to anything external, so I conclude I have just changed myself. And as much as can't logically explain, I think it's wonderful that I can feel this way - and particularly special to feel this way for no apparent reason.
It's a valuable lesson after all. That our inner world is important and that we do have the ability to reach this place inside of us, even if circumstances are bad. It gives me hope and motivates me to keep moving forward...one step at a time.
I think this line of thinking will really have a good effect on me...somehow I think I will be able to love myself more...I don't know why, but I just feel this way. It's ok that I don't love myself as much as I think I should - I have a pretty decent life in spite of a certain lack of self-steem. So, is it really that important? Apparently, it is not affecting me that much now. There are much more important things about myself...and I am loving to find this out this way. Just feeling it...just letting the feelings flow, without judgment and without thinking too hard.
Just feeling good.
Just because.
Lately, I have been feeling happy for apprently no reason. I like to think that I still have a long way to go in life...great challenges... that will lead me wonderful places, both outside and inside of myself.
But there are some moments when I just feel everything is right. I can just connect to the moment, the ambient, and feel the wonder that it is to live truly in the present...right here, right now. I thought of myself with Dri and how I felt that way with her...but now I realize, I don't need her to feel this way. I can reach this place inside myself, by myself. And I'm usually alone when it happens.
When I hit those moments, everything seems to shine. A simple walk on a square feels like I have been wandering around heaven. Things are so perfect just the way they are that I feel like time could stop...in truth, I think there's something here.
Of course, feeling this way doesn't mean there is nothing left to accomplish. There may be still things left to do, problems to deal with, things we mourn, things we regret, things we need... But the beauty of it is exactly that - feeling this way despite it all. We are not worrying about the past, or the future. They are not attached to us, and it makes no sense to carry this weight on our backs. No...we are living just at that time, and we are able to put aside everything else. In essence, it is as if we truly let go of time and whatever it means. I think this 'time has stopped' feeling is exactly that - the ability to let go of all our past depressions, our present stresses and future anxities. So it feels like time does not exist, because all there is...is this moment.
It's such a state of bliss I can't really describe, but it's like I had been living in a colorless, mute and lifeless world... and all of a sudden, it's populated with the most wonderful colours, the most perfect bird sounds, the most delightful afternoon breeze.
I actually find it funny to feel this way because there is nothing going on in my life that would lead me to such feelings. I can't correlate to anything external, so I conclude I have just changed myself. And as much as can't logically explain, I think it's wonderful that I can feel this way - and particularly special to feel this way for no apparent reason.
It's a valuable lesson after all. That our inner world is important and that we do have the ability to reach this place inside of us, even if circumstances are bad. It gives me hope and motivates me to keep moving forward...one step at a time.
I think this line of thinking will really have a good effect on me...somehow I think I will be able to love myself more...I don't know why, but I just feel this way. It's ok that I don't love myself as much as I think I should - I have a pretty decent life in spite of a certain lack of self-steem. So, is it really that important? Apparently, it is not affecting me that much now. There are much more important things about myself...and I am loving to find this out this way. Just feeling it...just letting the feelings flow, without judgment and without thinking too hard.
Just feeling good.
Just because.
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